Post by The Stranger on Jan 13, 2010 11:32:43 GMT -5
Ladies. . . Gentlemen. . . and Fredrick. . . ha ha just kidding old pal. . . gather close and I'll tell a tale of treachery, deceipt, cunning, bravery and romance. . .
No its not about the time Fredrick paid 4 silver stags for a quick tug from a wench that turned out to be a man. . . this ain't a tragedy friends its the tale of Ser Kenneth and the Crossbow ambush.
As you'll recall Ser Kenneth had already proven himself at the battle of the Pentos-Norvos Road with his Bloody Chickens prevailing despite the Treachery of Quinno the Volante Crossbowman. . . and even though the man was responsible for causing heavy losses to his host, Kenneth spared his treacherous hide when he asked for quarter. . .that means he surrendered. . . Fredrick you dunce.
Well Kenneth knew that the Free Alliance needed to hire more men if they were to be successful against Braavos and figured if he could recover some of that gold they paid Quinno it would go a long way in replacing and outfitting his men.
And being the kind of sort to forgive he even promised to let Quinno keep some of it, if he would tell him where it was.
So the Crossbowmen led them out to where he hid the gold, but while Kenneth was a forgiving sort, he wasn't born yesterday and brought a good contingent of men with him in case the Volante men did anything sinister, which he did.
Cause Ser Kenneth and Jonathon and the men had not traveled more then three leagues to where the sellsword had hidden the Gold when Kenneth and his party was under an intense Crossbow attack.
I mean their were quarrels everywhere. . . the air was as thick with quarrels as flies on fresh Auroch shit.
Probably everyman would have died in that ambush if the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs hadn't seen the glint of steel and gotten most of the men to fall on their chests before the first volley.
It seemed that Quinno had shared the location of the Gold with his Lieutenants and figured they'd be ready for them when Kenneth tried to collect.
So Kenneth and Jonathon were crawling low on the ground, kind of like how Frederick tries to leave the scene when he's short on his bar tab.
You can picture it now eh, Gregory? Maybe put an ale on his tab for me?
No? Well alright. . . so where was I?
Right so Kenneth and Jonathon and the rest of the Bloody Chickens were pulling a Fredrick to get out of this crossbow ambush and there are quarrels landing every which way.
Eventually they get behind some cover. . .thats a hiding place Frederick. . . kind of like that rock your crawled out from under. . . man you really are dense aren't you?
Dense. . . you know stupid, simple, dimwitted, slow, obtuse, you know the lights are on but no one's home up there.
And if you interupt me again to ask a stupid question, I'll take your dopey looking face and shove it up your arse.
So Kenneth and his men are hiding behind this cov. . . I mean rock formation and Kenneth knows that they are going to have to fight their way out of there or they'd eventually cut them down.
So Kenneth waited for the crossbowmen to fire their volley and then ordered his men to charge and they ran as fast as they could across the road to where they were hiding.
Course when this happened most of those Volantis cowards started to run away including Quinno, course Jonathon had enough of his treacherous ass so the dwarf ran as fast as his little Dwarf legs would carry him and cut Quinno into a hundred ribbons.
When the skirmish. . . thats another name for a battle Frederick so don't even ask. . . ended must have been three hundred Crossbowmen dead on the road to maybe six Bloody Chickens.
Fortunately for Kenneth though, Quinno and his men hadn't had time to move all the Gold away. . . in fact thats what they had been doing when Kenneth and the men stumbled upon them.
So in the end Kenneth's decision to reject the ambassadors offer and remain true and honorable and his decision to spare Quinno's life paid off well as their was close to a thousand dragons in all.
So the moral of the story is follow your heart and do whats right and you'll end up coming out ahead in the end even if the odds look bad.
Now wasn't that a nice story. . . worth a copper star or two?
Where was the romance you say?
Well thats an excellent question sweetling, why don't you come over here and sit on my lap for awhile and then we'll finish the story upstairs.
Results:
Ser Kenneth to Expert Battle
Ser Kenneth to Expert Persuasion (RP negotiations)
Jonathon improves towards Master Espionage
Jonathon improves to Grandmaster Story Telling
Bloody Chickens collect 1000 GD (Recoved Crossbow share and Ransom Money)
Bloody Chickens lose 6 Knights w
No its not about the time Fredrick paid 4 silver stags for a quick tug from a wench that turned out to be a man. . . this ain't a tragedy friends its the tale of Ser Kenneth and the Crossbow ambush.
As you'll recall Ser Kenneth had already proven himself at the battle of the Pentos-Norvos Road with his Bloody Chickens prevailing despite the Treachery of Quinno the Volante Crossbowman. . . and even though the man was responsible for causing heavy losses to his host, Kenneth spared his treacherous hide when he asked for quarter. . .that means he surrendered. . . Fredrick you dunce.
Well Kenneth knew that the Free Alliance needed to hire more men if they were to be successful against Braavos and figured if he could recover some of that gold they paid Quinno it would go a long way in replacing and outfitting his men.
And being the kind of sort to forgive he even promised to let Quinno keep some of it, if he would tell him where it was.
So the Crossbowmen led them out to where he hid the gold, but while Kenneth was a forgiving sort, he wasn't born yesterday and brought a good contingent of men with him in case the Volante men did anything sinister, which he did.
Cause Ser Kenneth and Jonathon and the men had not traveled more then three leagues to where the sellsword had hidden the Gold when Kenneth and his party was under an intense Crossbow attack.
I mean their were quarrels everywhere. . . the air was as thick with quarrels as flies on fresh Auroch shit.
Probably everyman would have died in that ambush if the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs hadn't seen the glint of steel and gotten most of the men to fall on their chests before the first volley.
It seemed that Quinno had shared the location of the Gold with his Lieutenants and figured they'd be ready for them when Kenneth tried to collect.
So Kenneth and Jonathon were crawling low on the ground, kind of like how Frederick tries to leave the scene when he's short on his bar tab.
You can picture it now eh, Gregory? Maybe put an ale on his tab for me?
No? Well alright. . . so where was I?
Right so Kenneth and Jonathon and the rest of the Bloody Chickens were pulling a Fredrick to get out of this crossbow ambush and there are quarrels landing every which way.
Eventually they get behind some cover. . .thats a hiding place Frederick. . . kind of like that rock your crawled out from under. . . man you really are dense aren't you?
Dense. . . you know stupid, simple, dimwitted, slow, obtuse, you know the lights are on but no one's home up there.
And if you interupt me again to ask a stupid question, I'll take your dopey looking face and shove it up your arse.
So Kenneth and his men are hiding behind this cov. . . I mean rock formation and Kenneth knows that they are going to have to fight their way out of there or they'd eventually cut them down.
So Kenneth waited for the crossbowmen to fire their volley and then ordered his men to charge and they ran as fast as they could across the road to where they were hiding.
Course when this happened most of those Volantis cowards started to run away including Quinno, course Jonathon had enough of his treacherous ass so the dwarf ran as fast as his little Dwarf legs would carry him and cut Quinno into a hundred ribbons.
When the skirmish. . . thats another name for a battle Frederick so don't even ask. . . ended must have been three hundred Crossbowmen dead on the road to maybe six Bloody Chickens.
Fortunately for Kenneth though, Quinno and his men hadn't had time to move all the Gold away. . . in fact thats what they had been doing when Kenneth and the men stumbled upon them.
So in the end Kenneth's decision to reject the ambassadors offer and remain true and honorable and his decision to spare Quinno's life paid off well as their was close to a thousand dragons in all.
So the moral of the story is follow your heart and do whats right and you'll end up coming out ahead in the end even if the odds look bad.
Now wasn't that a nice story. . . worth a copper star or two?
Where was the romance you say?
Well thats an excellent question sweetling, why don't you come over here and sit on my lap for awhile and then we'll finish the story upstairs.
Results:
Ser Kenneth to Expert Battle
Ser Kenneth to Expert Persuasion (RP negotiations)
Jonathon improves towards Master Espionage
Jonathon improves to Grandmaster Story Telling
Bloody Chickens collect 1000 GD (Recoved Crossbow share and Ransom Money)
Bloody Chickens lose 6 Knights w
Hope you all are well and happy.