Post by The Stranger on Dec 18, 2009 12:50:43 GMT -5
Yo ho, Yo ho a sellswords life for me. . . now wasn't that a nice ditty?
No, well fuck you too, I ain't seen you compose nothing but cow manure, you ingrate.
Say speaking of sellswords, have you all heard the one about Ser Kenneth and the Son's of Death?
Well as its well known when old man Thatcher bit it, most of his company the Traitor Son's. . . yeah boo boo the Traitor sons, ha ha.
Well most of Thatcher's Traitor Son's split and went overseas as sell swords, there were the Son's of Death and uh the Son's of Life.
You heard them called the Son's of Light? Well fine you can call them the Son's of not important to this story so shut the fuck up and drink your beer.
Anyways these Son's of Death which were the most ruthless members of Thatcher's Black armored thugs went to Lorath and it was here where they ran into Ser Kenneth.
Ser Kenneth had went to their camp after the battle to congratulate them on their defense of the city. That might seem odd to us to congratulate the enemy but a sellswords loyalty is temporary and at least these men were from Westeros.
Course Ser Kenneth gets there and the Son's of Death Captain starts disrespecting Ser Kenneth calling him the usual insults Captain Chicken Fucker and Ser Cockhead.
You know the usual and Ser Kenneth is trying to stay calm despite the insult but then he reminds the Captain that at least he wasn't happy to be killing women and children like the Traitor Son's had done at least a half a dozen times o'er in the North and Riverlands.
Well the Son's of Death Captain didn't take too kindly to this reminder and plunged his blade into Kenneth's friend Iagon the Lyseni Lancer, felling the giant immediately.
Ser Kenneth raising his sword against his fallen friend was soon fighting twenty Traitor Son's at a time.
With a slash slash here and a crash crash here, here a slash there a crash. . . Kenneth fought his way through all twenty of the Son's of Death until finding his way back to the rival Captain.
The Captain was frantic having seen Kenneth cut through twenty of his men and was yelling for every and any man to come and take Kenneth down.
But not one dared, for they saw in his eyes that Ser Kenneth had the fire of the Warrior in him and that any who rose up would be struck down.
And the terrified Captain tried to lunge at Kenneth and the Knight of Coin kept backing the man up as every blow the Son's of Death Captain tried to land was beaten back.
Finally, it was his fellow Traitor Son's that done the Captain in, they grabbed him and ripped him limbs off one at a time and beat the callous man with his own arm and legs.
Yeah, I know miss its a disturbing image but thats the way it went down, I swear. . . so with the Captain out of the way Ser Kenneth gave one of his best speeches ever.
Telling the former Son's of Death that its not about dieing on the field of battle but making the other poor cocksucker die and that they could reclaim their stained honor by fighting with him as he and the Bloody Chickens moved the Free Alliance forward to the inevitable battle against Braavos and put the Freedom back in the Free Cities to help them overthrow their Braavosi overlords.
Word is some of the former Traitor Son's broke down right there and started to cry like a baby and they thanked Kenneth for giving them a second chance to begin their life a new.
What you ain't never seen a grown man cry? Well sir then you obviously never tasted Petra's Spicy Sausage. That'll make any man cry and shit fire to boot.
Results:
Kenneth Improves Towards Grandmaster Longblades (2nd Scenario/ 2nd battle)
No, well fuck you too, I ain't seen you compose nothing but cow manure, you ingrate.
Say speaking of sellswords, have you all heard the one about Ser Kenneth and the Son's of Death?
Well as its well known when old man Thatcher bit it, most of his company the Traitor Son's. . . yeah boo boo the Traitor sons, ha ha.
Well most of Thatcher's Traitor Son's split and went overseas as sell swords, there were the Son's of Death and uh the Son's of Life.
You heard them called the Son's of Light? Well fine you can call them the Son's of not important to this story so shut the fuck up and drink your beer.
Anyways these Son's of Death which were the most ruthless members of Thatcher's Black armored thugs went to Lorath and it was here where they ran into Ser Kenneth.
Ser Kenneth had went to their camp after the battle to congratulate them on their defense of the city. That might seem odd to us to congratulate the enemy but a sellswords loyalty is temporary and at least these men were from Westeros.
Course Ser Kenneth gets there and the Son's of Death Captain starts disrespecting Ser Kenneth calling him the usual insults Captain Chicken Fucker and Ser Cockhead.
You know the usual and Ser Kenneth is trying to stay calm despite the insult but then he reminds the Captain that at least he wasn't happy to be killing women and children like the Traitor Son's had done at least a half a dozen times o'er in the North and Riverlands.
Well the Son's of Death Captain didn't take too kindly to this reminder and plunged his blade into Kenneth's friend Iagon the Lyseni Lancer, felling the giant immediately.
Ser Kenneth raising his sword against his fallen friend was soon fighting twenty Traitor Son's at a time.
With a slash slash here and a crash crash here, here a slash there a crash. . . Kenneth fought his way through all twenty of the Son's of Death until finding his way back to the rival Captain.
The Captain was frantic having seen Kenneth cut through twenty of his men and was yelling for every and any man to come and take Kenneth down.
But not one dared, for they saw in his eyes that Ser Kenneth had the fire of the Warrior in him and that any who rose up would be struck down.
And the terrified Captain tried to lunge at Kenneth and the Knight of Coin kept backing the man up as every blow the Son's of Death Captain tried to land was beaten back.
Finally, it was his fellow Traitor Son's that done the Captain in, they grabbed him and ripped him limbs off one at a time and beat the callous man with his own arm and legs.
Yeah, I know miss its a disturbing image but thats the way it went down, I swear. . . so with the Captain out of the way Ser Kenneth gave one of his best speeches ever.
Telling the former Son's of Death that its not about dieing on the field of battle but making the other poor cocksucker die and that they could reclaim their stained honor by fighting with him as he and the Bloody Chickens moved the Free Alliance forward to the inevitable battle against Braavos and put the Freedom back in the Free Cities to help them overthrow their Braavosi overlords.
Word is some of the former Traitor Son's broke down right there and started to cry like a baby and they thanked Kenneth for giving them a second chance to begin their life a new.
What you ain't never seen a grown man cry? Well sir then you obviously never tasted Petra's Spicy Sausage. That'll make any man cry and shit fire to boot.
Results:
Kenneth Improves Towards Grandmaster Longblades (2nd Scenario/ 2nd battle)
Hope you all are well and happy.