Post by The Stranger on Dec 7, 2009 10:07:00 GMT -5
Tell us a story you say. . . pish can't a man just enjoy an ale once in a while? Its not like I didn't just tell you one not twenty minutes ago.
Fine, but after that you'll leave me alone right?
Okay, so once upon a time their was this lovely maiden who was imprisoned in a high high tower and this princess . . .
What? You don't want to hear a story about a dainty princess?
Well how do you know she is dainty? This princess might have razor sharp teeth and like to eat little children that ask for too many stories.
Hey what are you kids doing in a tavern anyways?
I don't care if your mum is a serving wench that doesn't mean she should be leaving you in this shoddy place. . . whose your mum anyways?
Oh really, and how old are you?
Seven? Hmmmm, five, six, seven, your birthday isn't in august is it?
It is? Well ain't that fantastic. . . say how'd you like to learn about how Ser Kenneth got the name the Knight of Coin?
Because he was a sell sword you say. . . who told you that? It was Peachy wasn't it? I tell you what Peachy couldn't find his ass in the dark with two hands and the crone herself lighting the way.
No, while that miserable cunt Peachy is right that Ser Kenneth was a sellsword Knight, the name stems from when he battled the Champion of Pentos, a Ser Gilgamesh for the fate of the city.
Ser Kenneth as Peachy probably told you fought for the Tyroshi against Braavos, and it was a couple of months after Ser Kenneth had saved their sell sword army at the Battle of the Pentoshi Roads that the Free Alliance, thats what they called themselves, had laid siege to the City of Pentos for months and months but Pentos had walls that were forty feet high and forty feet thick and no one in their right mind would storm the city, not even a forked beard Tyroshi cur.
Well after some time the merchants of Pentos were getting pretty upset since the war was hurting their trade and they demanded their leadership end the conflict and so they decided they would challenge the Free Alliance to a battle of champions and if they won then the Alliance would leave and if they lost they would throw open the city to the Free Alliance and join their cause.
Well Pentos wasn't that concerned since their champion was this Ser. . uh what did I say it was? Ser Gilgamesh right. Well Ser Gilgamesh was 9 feet tall with legs the size of tree trunks and he rode on a horse the size of an auroch and jousted with a twenty foot lance.
Well none of the yellow Free Alliance sell swords wanted to fight this Ser Gilgamesh monster, and the Tyroshi General was about to decline when Ser Kenneth not a year past his 19th name day said he would fight.
So the young Ser Kenneth put on his Rooster Head helm and his golden hued plate mail and rode out under the forty foot walls of Pentos to fight their champion to decide the fate of the city.
And the army of Pentos laughed when they saw him because Ser Kenneth was only a boy you see and well with his helm and all he did kind of look like a giant chicken.
So the Pentoshi Champion, uh . . . Ser Gilgamesh yes thank you laughed and then said, "What is your name boy? Cause I don't recognize your banner?"
And Ser Kenneth replied, "I am Ser Kenneth Coyn, remember it for because of me, Pentos will earn its freedom from its Braavosi slavemasters."
And with that the two knights charged at one another at great speed the Pentoshi Champion's horse's hooves thundering on the wide plains. . .
No Ser Kenneth didn't knock him from his horse you little snot nosed brat, no wonder your father ran away.
No children Ser Kenneth was young and hadn't become the skilled Jouster yet, that monstrous Pentoshi Champion, uh. . . yes... yes... Ser Gilgamesh thank you and his twenty foot lance delivered a powerful blow right to Ser Kenneth's head. A blow that would have instantly killed a normal man but not Ser Kenneth.
It turns out that the Rooster Headed helm that the master smith Codswallow had made had a reenforced beak and the mighty blow that the Champion of Pentos landed hit him square on the beak and rather then killing him instantly, the nose bent up and probably saved Ser Kenneth's life.
Still shaken from the monstrous hit that uh. . . Ser Gilgamesh. . . right just making sure you were paying attention landed, Ser Kenneth battled with their champion for hours under the walls trading blow after blow with the 9 foot Pentoshi monster.
Eventually Ser Kenneth manage to fell the man and with it their was an enormous cheer on both sides as the armies celebrated an epic battle between the great Ser Kenneth and uh that other guy.
And as the gates of the city were thrown open to the Free Alliance the sell swords started shouting Knight of Coin. . . Knight of Coin . . . Knight of Coin since the men way in the back did not know it was supposed to Coyn and was his house's name.
Anyways soon, all of the other sell swords started calling him that and of course Jonathon talked it up when announcing him and the name kind of stuck ever since.
Results:
Ser Kenneth to Master Lance
Ser Kenneth improves towards Grandmaster Longblades
Jonathon to Expert Story Telling
Jonathon to Expert Charm
Fine, but after that you'll leave me alone right?
Okay, so once upon a time their was this lovely maiden who was imprisoned in a high high tower and this princess . . .
What? You don't want to hear a story about a dainty princess?
Well how do you know she is dainty? This princess might have razor sharp teeth and like to eat little children that ask for too many stories.
Hey what are you kids doing in a tavern anyways?
I don't care if your mum is a serving wench that doesn't mean she should be leaving you in this shoddy place. . . whose your mum anyways?
Oh really, and how old are you?
Seven? Hmmmm, five, six, seven, your birthday isn't in august is it?
It is? Well ain't that fantastic. . . say how'd you like to learn about how Ser Kenneth got the name the Knight of Coin?
Because he was a sell sword you say. . . who told you that? It was Peachy wasn't it? I tell you what Peachy couldn't find his ass in the dark with two hands and the crone herself lighting the way.
No, while that miserable cunt Peachy is right that Ser Kenneth was a sellsword Knight, the name stems from when he battled the Champion of Pentos, a Ser Gilgamesh for the fate of the city.
Ser Kenneth as Peachy probably told you fought for the Tyroshi against Braavos, and it was a couple of months after Ser Kenneth had saved their sell sword army at the Battle of the Pentoshi Roads that the Free Alliance, thats what they called themselves, had laid siege to the City of Pentos for months and months but Pentos had walls that were forty feet high and forty feet thick and no one in their right mind would storm the city, not even a forked beard Tyroshi cur.
Well after some time the merchants of Pentos were getting pretty upset since the war was hurting their trade and they demanded their leadership end the conflict and so they decided they would challenge the Free Alliance to a battle of champions and if they won then the Alliance would leave and if they lost they would throw open the city to the Free Alliance and join their cause.
Well Pentos wasn't that concerned since their champion was this Ser. . uh what did I say it was? Ser Gilgamesh right. Well Ser Gilgamesh was 9 feet tall with legs the size of tree trunks and he rode on a horse the size of an auroch and jousted with a twenty foot lance.
Well none of the yellow Free Alliance sell swords wanted to fight this Ser Gilgamesh monster, and the Tyroshi General was about to decline when Ser Kenneth not a year past his 19th name day said he would fight.
So the young Ser Kenneth put on his Rooster Head helm and his golden hued plate mail and rode out under the forty foot walls of Pentos to fight their champion to decide the fate of the city.
And the army of Pentos laughed when they saw him because Ser Kenneth was only a boy you see and well with his helm and all he did kind of look like a giant chicken.
So the Pentoshi Champion, uh . . . Ser Gilgamesh yes thank you laughed and then said, "What is your name boy? Cause I don't recognize your banner?"
And Ser Kenneth replied, "I am Ser Kenneth Coyn, remember it for because of me, Pentos will earn its freedom from its Braavosi slavemasters."
And with that the two knights charged at one another at great speed the Pentoshi Champion's horse's hooves thundering on the wide plains. . .
No Ser Kenneth didn't knock him from his horse you little snot nosed brat, no wonder your father ran away.
No children Ser Kenneth was young and hadn't become the skilled Jouster yet, that monstrous Pentoshi Champion, uh. . . yes... yes... Ser Gilgamesh thank you and his twenty foot lance delivered a powerful blow right to Ser Kenneth's head. A blow that would have instantly killed a normal man but not Ser Kenneth.
It turns out that the Rooster Headed helm that the master smith Codswallow had made had a reenforced beak and the mighty blow that the Champion of Pentos landed hit him square on the beak and rather then killing him instantly, the nose bent up and probably saved Ser Kenneth's life.
Still shaken from the monstrous hit that uh. . . Ser Gilgamesh. . . right just making sure you were paying attention landed, Ser Kenneth battled with their champion for hours under the walls trading blow after blow with the 9 foot Pentoshi monster.
Eventually Ser Kenneth manage to fell the man and with it their was an enormous cheer on both sides as the armies celebrated an epic battle between the great Ser Kenneth and uh that other guy.
And as the gates of the city were thrown open to the Free Alliance the sell swords started shouting Knight of Coin. . . Knight of Coin . . . Knight of Coin since the men way in the back did not know it was supposed to Coyn and was his house's name.
Anyways soon, all of the other sell swords started calling him that and of course Jonathon talked it up when announcing him and the name kind of stuck ever since.
Results:
Ser Kenneth to Master Lance
Ser Kenneth improves towards Grandmaster Longblades
Jonathon to Expert Story Telling
Jonathon to Expert Charm
Hope you all are well and happy.