Post by The Stranger on Dec 1, 2009 10:37:57 GMT -5
What happened after Ser Kenneth and the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs rescued the Lady Webber you ask?
Well it's quite a tale and I'll be happy to tell it after I get something to warm my belly. I'll just be a minute folks gotta get my coin purse. . .
Say brother could you spare a couple of stars? Seems I left my coin purse in my other pants. . . Mother have mercy, I am much obliged sir, much obliged.
Mmmm this pie is delicious, but course you already knew that as your all regulars but I dawdle. . . now where was I?
Ah yes. . . well its well known that after Ser Kenneth and Jonathon fought their way into the Thorns bandit camp and rescued the Lady Webber from her kidnappers that her father Lord Webber gave the Knight a tidy sum, and when I say tidy I mean enough Gold Dragons for Ser Kenneth to pay back his brother's loans, properly equip himself and hire on some men to form his Bloody Chicken Company.
And this my friends is where most storytellers would skip ahead to our heroes' lives in the free cities but not I. I my friends have a particularly clever tale of how the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs made twenty golden dragons disappear and then come back with thirty.
After visiting with the Blacksmith Codswallow, well I don't know if that was his given name but thats what the man went by, Ser Kenneth went to see about arranging for travel to the free cities while Jonathon was given a large portion of the Dragons to see about hiring on some men.
Why'd he let the Dwarf do it? Well I don't rightly know, they were fast friends by now and Ser Kenneth was a trusting soul, I reckon.
Well Jonathon went to a tavern on the harbor that Codswallow had reccommended for finding the sort of men that might be interested in hiring on with a Knight and a Dwarf.
What was it called? Umm . . . yes well it was called um . . . Has anyone been to Oldtown before? No. . . well then it was called The Smelly Wench. . . and had a reputation for being one of the rougher taverns in the city. In fact I think its since burned down, but that is another story for another time.
So Jonathon entered The Smelly Wench and deciding since he had been on the road for so long it wouldn't hurt to have a drink or two or ten and was soon well on his way to being pissed.
As I am sure many of you know being pissed is not the best time to be making monetary decisions and the Drunken Dwarf had soon been convinced to play the game of Hazard with a hussler named Haymaker Jim and his traveling companion a whore named Bess the Best.
What was she best at you ask?
Well Bess was missing her two front and bottom teeth and it made the perfect opening for a man's prick.
Well I don't know your Jezebelle so I couldn't compare her techniques, now can I sir. . . now should I continue the story or do you want to know more about Bess?
What? You want to know more about Bess, well fuck you guys! I can see my tales not worth much to you. . . guess I'll be on my way then. . . maybe over near Bandallon they'll appreciate a good tale.
Fine, I'll finish for you mi lady.
Well the Hustlers had some loaded dice and spying the Dwarf's coin purse had set him for an easy mark and were soon way ahead of the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs who had through the bad luck that only loaded dice can bring had lost a small fortune and it was about three in the morning when Jonathon realized he was down about twenty dragons to the hustlers, and as he began to sober up realized what a terrible situation he was in.
He decided that his only chance was to continue to act pissed and make a wager so unbelievable that the hustlers would have to take it. After talking for awhile and striking a bargain with the Hustlers the Dwarf went up to the tavern owner and bet him 5 dragons that he could pee into a shot glass from six feet away without spilling a drop.
So the Shot glass was placed at the end of the bar and Jonathon got up and started pissing everywhere, on the bar, on the floor, hitting everywhere but the shot glass and the whole time the tavern owner is laughing his ass off.
As Jonathon paid the man, he inquired about why he had made such a silly bet, but Jonathon only smiled and pointed to the two hustlers in the corner. It turned out that the dwarf had bet the Hustlers thirty-five dragons that he could piss all over the bar and floor with the owner doing nothing but laughing the whole time.
The Dwarf then started singing and dancing about Ser Kenneth and the Bloody Chickens and pretty soon the whole tavern was having a hell of a time and after quite a few rounds, just shy of one hundred men had signed on for good pay and good times as a member of the Bloody Chickens.
So that my friends is how the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs made twenty dragons disappear and thirty return and through Song and Dance recruited the first members of the Bloody Chicken Company.
Results:
Ser Kenneth Hand to Hand to Apprentice (including RP)
Ser Kenneth Deception to Novice (including RP)
Jonathon Deception to Expert (including RP)
Jonathon Espionage to Expert (including RP)
The Bloody Chickens are formed with 100 men-at-arms.
Well it's quite a tale and I'll be happy to tell it after I get something to warm my belly. I'll just be a minute folks gotta get my coin purse. . .
Say brother could you spare a couple of stars? Seems I left my coin purse in my other pants. . . Mother have mercy, I am much obliged sir, much obliged.
Mmmm this pie is delicious, but course you already knew that as your all regulars but I dawdle. . . now where was I?
Ah yes. . . well its well known that after Ser Kenneth and Jonathon fought their way into the Thorns bandit camp and rescued the Lady Webber from her kidnappers that her father Lord Webber gave the Knight a tidy sum, and when I say tidy I mean enough Gold Dragons for Ser Kenneth to pay back his brother's loans, properly equip himself and hire on some men to form his Bloody Chicken Company.
And this my friends is where most storytellers would skip ahead to our heroes' lives in the free cities but not I. I my friends have a particularly clever tale of how the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs made twenty golden dragons disappear and then come back with thirty.
After visiting with the Blacksmith Codswallow, well I don't know if that was his given name but thats what the man went by, Ser Kenneth went to see about arranging for travel to the free cities while Jonathon was given a large portion of the Dragons to see about hiring on some men.
Why'd he let the Dwarf do it? Well I don't rightly know, they were fast friends by now and Ser Kenneth was a trusting soul, I reckon.
Well Jonathon went to a tavern on the harbor that Codswallow had reccommended for finding the sort of men that might be interested in hiring on with a Knight and a Dwarf.
What was it called? Umm . . . yes well it was called um . . . Has anyone been to Oldtown before? No. . . well then it was called The Smelly Wench. . . and had a reputation for being one of the rougher taverns in the city. In fact I think its since burned down, but that is another story for another time.
So Jonathon entered The Smelly Wench and deciding since he had been on the road for so long it wouldn't hurt to have a drink or two or ten and was soon well on his way to being pissed.
As I am sure many of you know being pissed is not the best time to be making monetary decisions and the Drunken Dwarf had soon been convinced to play the game of Hazard with a hussler named Haymaker Jim and his traveling companion a whore named Bess the Best.
What was she best at you ask?
Well Bess was missing her two front and bottom teeth and it made the perfect opening for a man's prick.
Well I don't know your Jezebelle so I couldn't compare her techniques, now can I sir. . . now should I continue the story or do you want to know more about Bess?
What? You want to know more about Bess, well fuck you guys! I can see my tales not worth much to you. . . guess I'll be on my way then. . . maybe over near Bandallon they'll appreciate a good tale.
Fine, I'll finish for you mi lady.
Well the Hustlers had some loaded dice and spying the Dwarf's coin purse had set him for an easy mark and were soon way ahead of the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs who had through the bad luck that only loaded dice can bring had lost a small fortune and it was about three in the morning when Jonathon realized he was down about twenty dragons to the hustlers, and as he began to sober up realized what a terrible situation he was in.
He decided that his only chance was to continue to act pissed and make a wager so unbelievable that the hustlers would have to take it. After talking for awhile and striking a bargain with the Hustlers the Dwarf went up to the tavern owner and bet him 5 dragons that he could pee into a shot glass from six feet away without spilling a drop.
So the Shot glass was placed at the end of the bar and Jonathon got up and started pissing everywhere, on the bar, on the floor, hitting everywhere but the shot glass and the whole time the tavern owner is laughing his ass off.
As Jonathon paid the man, he inquired about why he had made such a silly bet, but Jonathon only smiled and pointed to the two hustlers in the corner. It turned out that the dwarf had bet the Hustlers thirty-five dragons that he could piss all over the bar and floor with the owner doing nothing but laughing the whole time.
The Dwarf then started singing and dancing about Ser Kenneth and the Bloody Chickens and pretty soon the whole tavern was having a hell of a time and after quite a few rounds, just shy of one hundred men had signed on for good pay and good times as a member of the Bloody Chickens.
So that my friends is how the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs made twenty dragons disappear and thirty return and through Song and Dance recruited the first members of the Bloody Chicken Company.
Results:
Ser Kenneth Hand to Hand to Apprentice (including RP)
Ser Kenneth Deception to Novice (including RP)
Jonathon Deception to Expert (including RP)
Jonathon Espionage to Expert (including RP)
The Bloody Chickens are formed with 100 men-at-arms.
Hope you all are well and happy.