Post by The Stranger on Nov 18, 2009 10:51:35 GMT -5
What you want to hear the tale of the Bloody Chicken Company? Can't say I blame you. . . its a queer tale and one to bring a chuckle or two for sure, maybe if you buy me an ale or two or three I'll sit down and share it with you all.
Thanks that ale really hits the spot, it doesn't taste like piss like some of the other taverns I've stayed. So where were we? Ahh yes the story of the Bloody Chickens. . . but with such a strange tale where does an old man start?
The begining you say. . . hah we've got a clever group tonight. . . well thats right but where does something so peculiar truly begin?
At that hovel of a holdfast Ser Kenneth was born at. . . that clearing in the wood where Ser Kenneth and the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs tricked twenty men into thinking that the two of them were a hundred men strong?
What you heard it was only ten men? Are you telling the story here or am I? Thats what I thought now sit down and keep your trap shut.
Cause no matter what you've heard before this is the True story of how the Bloody Chickens came to be.
Now most bards think that the bloody chickens started in that clearing I was talking about earlier but I friends know better.
Ser Kenneth and Jonathon didn't have a rat's ass notion of how to start a sell sword company and even if they had Ser Kenneth wouldn't of been foolish enough to hire twenty men without so much as a dragon to his name.
It was twenty men sir and if you interupt my story again I'll shove my size seven boot so far up your arse you'll be birthing a baby cow.
No, Ser Kenneth was pretty much penniless save for that second rate courser and his father's castle forged long sword but the lad had a plan and like most plans it went horribly asunder pretty early on but thats how life is sometimes.
When Ser Kenneth arrived in Honeyholt he found out that Lord Beesbury was away in King's Landing so his plan of paying his men with his tournament winnings fell to shit pretty quick.
So what did Ser Kenneth do? Well like any man hard up on his luck he turned those twenty men in for banditry and collected a sizable reward. Yeah it turned out that one of the men actually had a sizable bounty on his head.
How much of a bounty? I don't know how much its not really relevant to the story. . .
Alright. . . alright he got a golden dragon for the lot of them.
What do you mean thats too little? Fine he got three dragons. . . Happy now? Can I continue or are we going to have to negotiate the price of cockels in Braavos too?
Now Ser Kenneth being a resourceful young Knight and there being no shortage of bandits around that part decided to try his hand as a bounty hunter, he proved quite good at it too.
He and the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs got a silver stag for every bandit they turned in and they split it right down the middle cause thats what friends do. Sure it wasn't as glorious as Ser Kenneth had imagined when he left home for that tourney in Honeyholt but it kept their bellies full and their wits sharp.
No my friends, like so many men, Ser Kenneth's life was about to be changed by a woman. Specifically a certain minor Lordling's daughter that her father claimed was kidnapped. What happened on that adventure is how the Bloody Chicken's were founded but that my friend is another tale and will cost you another ale.
Results:
Ser Kenneth gains Deception Beginner (RP)
Ser Kenneth Improves Persuasion to Noteworthy (RP)
Jonathon Biggs improves Deception to Noteworthy (RP)
Jonathon Biggs improves Story Telling to Apprentice
Thanks that ale really hits the spot, it doesn't taste like piss like some of the other taverns I've stayed. So where were we? Ahh yes the story of the Bloody Chickens. . . but with such a strange tale where does an old man start?
The begining you say. . . hah we've got a clever group tonight. . . well thats right but where does something so peculiar truly begin?
At that hovel of a holdfast Ser Kenneth was born at. . . that clearing in the wood where Ser Kenneth and the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs tricked twenty men into thinking that the two of them were a hundred men strong?
What you heard it was only ten men? Are you telling the story here or am I? Thats what I thought now sit down and keep your trap shut.
Cause no matter what you've heard before this is the True story of how the Bloody Chickens came to be.
Now most bards think that the bloody chickens started in that clearing I was talking about earlier but I friends know better.
Ser Kenneth and Jonathon didn't have a rat's ass notion of how to start a sell sword company and even if they had Ser Kenneth wouldn't of been foolish enough to hire twenty men without so much as a dragon to his name.
It was twenty men sir and if you interupt my story again I'll shove my size seven boot so far up your arse you'll be birthing a baby cow.
No, Ser Kenneth was pretty much penniless save for that second rate courser and his father's castle forged long sword but the lad had a plan and like most plans it went horribly asunder pretty early on but thats how life is sometimes.
When Ser Kenneth arrived in Honeyholt he found out that Lord Beesbury was away in King's Landing so his plan of paying his men with his tournament winnings fell to shit pretty quick.
So what did Ser Kenneth do? Well like any man hard up on his luck he turned those twenty men in for banditry and collected a sizable reward. Yeah it turned out that one of the men actually had a sizable bounty on his head.
How much of a bounty? I don't know how much its not really relevant to the story. . .
Alright. . . alright he got a golden dragon for the lot of them.
What do you mean thats too little? Fine he got three dragons. . . Happy now? Can I continue or are we going to have to negotiate the price of cockels in Braavos too?
Now Ser Kenneth being a resourceful young Knight and there being no shortage of bandits around that part decided to try his hand as a bounty hunter, he proved quite good at it too.
He and the Astonishing Jonathon Biggs got a silver stag for every bandit they turned in and they split it right down the middle cause thats what friends do. Sure it wasn't as glorious as Ser Kenneth had imagined when he left home for that tourney in Honeyholt but it kept their bellies full and their wits sharp.
No my friends, like so many men, Ser Kenneth's life was about to be changed by a woman. Specifically a certain minor Lordling's daughter that her father claimed was kidnapped. What happened on that adventure is how the Bloody Chicken's were founded but that my friend is another tale and will cost you another ale.
Results:
Ser Kenneth gains Deception Beginner (RP)
Ser Kenneth Improves Persuasion to Noteworthy (RP)
Jonathon Biggs improves Deception to Noteworthy (RP)
Jonathon Biggs improves Story Telling to Apprentice