Post by The Stranger on Jun 11, 2008 16:53:16 GMT -5
Three Drastic Measures
The Lannister Gala was in full swing, and likely wouldn’t end for several hours. Having thought on it, Aldrys knew he wasn’t ready to go after any true valuables that night. He hadn’t worked real nobility in so long, and simple bump-and-grab thefts weren’t going to cut it. He’d nearly been caught lifting a pin off the hem of a dress, for goodness sake. No, he would be dead before midnight if he used the tricks of common street-urchins. Aldrys would have to put on a show.
He’d been a Mummer for three years, entertaining commoners, knights, and nobles from dawn till dusk, and usually then from dusk till dawn as well, sometimes with ten minutes to either eat or sleep between performances. All he needed was a little practice, a little time to sharpen his skills. Including the wedding day itself, he had three days to pull of his act.
He giggled while walking down the steps. Three days. Three years to learn it, three days to re-learn it. Might as well keep up that pattern, he thought.
Thinking, thinking… three acts tonight. No, not just three acts. Three acts on the same audience. Oh, wouldn’t that be fun? Hunched over, still pretending to be the skittish squire Wesley, he smiled so wide he thought his face would split in half and looked around the bottom of the steps. To his left, three gaudy ladies stared at him as though he were mad. Beautiful. He memorized their faces.
He turned and walked back up the stairs and made his way to the buffet tents. The room bustled with activity, servants running up and down the aisles. No one noticed a small, scrawny man pick up a greasy chicken leg, a small bowl of chili powder, a handful of walnuts, and a sack of flower.
Resisting the urge to skip and sing, he returned to the gardens. Walking around the edges, he found an area secluded enough that no one would notice a bit of food in the corner, yet open enough that no one would use it to fuck in. He took the chicken leg and squeezed it over his head, rubbing the grease into his shaggy brown hair. All night long, he’d had his hair down, drooping enough that it practically covered his eyes. Now he slicked it back and up a bit, into the sort of outlandish style only someone totally confident in their superiority would wear. He changed nothing else of his appearance, wiped the extra grease of his hands, and walked back out tall with his chest sticking out.
He found the three ladies quickly enough. They looked haughty, bored, and more than a little annoyed at each other and the party at large. Good. An upset crowd is harder to please, he thought.
He approached them with a cocky grin on his face. “Ladies!” They turned to look at him. “My dear ladies, why do you stand here melancholy? Were you not told that this is a party?”
He could tell by their eyes that none of them remembered him from earlier, but that didn’t improve their temperaments. “Some party,” one of them replied, “Every room and hall, even this weed field they call a garden, is filled with people, yet there isn’t one worth talking to.” The others voiced their agreements.
Aldrys made a shocked face. “Truly? There’s no one here to entertain three ladies so fair as you? This cannot be!” He paced back and forth before them. Well, they were looking at him like he was crazy again, but this time he actually wanted them to do so. “Ladies, I am but a simple squire to a great knight, I know that it is not my place to make this offer, but it saddens me that you three should be left to suffer in this state. Please, let me do my best to entertain you. At the very least, you may discuss how much you despise me after I have left you.” He gave them a pathetic, pleading smile.
The three exchanged glances, unsure. Then, the one who’d answered before sniffed. “Very well, boy, but we shan’t hesitate to call the guards if you pester us after we’re fed up with you.”
He bowed deeply. “My lady, I am a simple man, but I am a man of manners. Should that come to pass, I will impale myself on the nearest spear willingly. Now, close your eyes!”
The leader scoffed. “We shall do no such thing!”
“I did not mean all three of you, only you! Your friends will keep their eyes on me to be sure I do nothing untoward.”
The woman looked completely out of her element, but muttered and closed her eyes. “Very good. Now, if you two would kindly watch.” He gently ran his hands along the woman, tracing her contours, but never touching her. “Now, open your eyes!” She did. “You see? My intentions are entirely chaste. Now, if you would be so kind, try to guess which piece of your jewelry I took off of your body.”
The woman’s mouth dropped. She felt at her chest where her necklaces were, checked her rings and bangles. “Nothing! Nothing’s missing.”
“Check your ear, dear lady.” She did, and only then noticed her silver earring had gone missing. Stunned, she looked as Aldrys opened his palm and showed her the earring, then returned it. “Now your friends.” He performed the same feat on the other two, taking a ring off one’s chubby finger and removing the other’s only necklace. None of them felt his hands at work or saw him take the jewelry off the other, and by the time he finished the three were laughing at each other.
“Ah, now there is a wonderful sound indeed. I’m afraid I must leave you now, but hopefully you will be in good spirits until you find something else to entertain you. Remember, ladies, always be happy.” He left with some protests from the ladies, but politely excused himself. Retreating to the darker parts of the garden, he scanned the ground. Plenty of couples had taken their clothes off, and none were paying much attention to their possessions, but where to find… perfect. He picked a plain green dress, very modest, off the ground and held it up to himself. Just his size. He found a few scarves and handkerchiefs as well. He retreated to the place where he’d hidden the food and changed into the dress, using the handkerchiefs to fill out the figure and tied the scarf around his head. He buried his own clothes and the jewelry he’d stolen earlier in the night under a pile of dead plants no one had bothered to clean up. Finally, and this was the true test of his control, Aldrys licked his lips and spread the powder over it. It immediately burned, but he showed nothing of it on his face.
When Aldrys approached the ladies again, he was a slightly homely looking lady with the brightest red lipstick anyone could imagine. By now, the pain of the chili powder was incredible, but he’d learned long ago how to ignore that. It was all a show. Whatever he really felt, his external self had to be a performance. “Good evening, ladies,” he said in a soft, breathy voice. He’d never had any talent for a falsetto, unfortunately, but by softening his tone he sounded enough like a woman to be convincing.
The three were still giggling and checking themselves for stolen articles, but looked up at his arrival and smiled pleasantly enough, greeting him in kind. The first act had set them up perfectly. For half of an hour he spoke with them about the troubles of being a lady, having to make the terrible trip to King’s Landing, the horrid men they’d been involved with in the past. Aldrys would laugh with them, occasionally touching an arm or hand in a friendly manner. Each time, he would either steal a ring or bracelet, or he would return one. Perfectly. They never noticed, never realized. He must have picked and returned jewelry to and from each of them a dozen times, without even a flinch. Eventually, the three ladies told him they were going to watch the performers, asking if he wanted to join them. He declined, but as they walked off…
“My ladies!” They turned to see him bending over, pretending to pick something up. He’d still had one ring in his hand when they left. Walking to catch up with them, he said, “My ladies, I believe one of you may have dropped this.” He produced the ring. They checked their fingers, and the one he’d taken it from gasped and thanked him. “Not at all, it’s a lucky thing I looked down,” he said while slipping the ring back on her finger. The three walked off again, and Aldrys looked down at his hand, where he held two rings he’d just taken off the woman’s hand. He smiled and pocketed them. One more act.
He returned to his outdoor changing room, grinning as he heard a panicked woman’s voice saying something about her dress gone missing. He removed the dress, put his own clothes backed on, suddenly remembered his lips were on fire and licked and wiped away the chili powder, spread more grease over his face and hair, and pressed flour onto his face. He moved all the stolen jewelry from his sleeve pockets to his shirt pockets, and put a half-dozen walnuts into his sleeve pockets. Aldrys breathed deeply. He knew he looked ridiculous. He wondered if he looked ridiculous enough and could act well enough to fool three women who had seen him not an hour ago in the same clothing.
As it turned how, he did and he could. He performed feats of prestidigitation, moving the walnuts into different hands, putting them into the ladies hands, pulling his sleeves back and making the walnuts disappear only to reappear in the ladies’ laps or in their hands without them feeling it, once even slipping a walnut into one of the lady’s mouth without her friends noticing.
Satisfied, Aldrys politely excused himself, saying he was needed elsewhere, but leaving each a walnut as a gift. They didn’t notice the two bracelets and six rings he took off them doing so.
After wiping the flour off on a scarf he’d held on to, Aldrys walked out of the garden and towards the entrance with a smile on his face. It hadn’t turned out like he thought it would, but it had been a wonderful night after all. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
Results:
Aldrys advances from Expert to Expert+ Acting
Aldrys advances from Noteworthy to Expert Sleight of Hand
The Lannister Gala was in full swing, and likely wouldn’t end for several hours. Having thought on it, Aldrys knew he wasn’t ready to go after any true valuables that night. He hadn’t worked real nobility in so long, and simple bump-and-grab thefts weren’t going to cut it. He’d nearly been caught lifting a pin off the hem of a dress, for goodness sake. No, he would be dead before midnight if he used the tricks of common street-urchins. Aldrys would have to put on a show.
He’d been a Mummer for three years, entertaining commoners, knights, and nobles from dawn till dusk, and usually then from dusk till dawn as well, sometimes with ten minutes to either eat or sleep between performances. All he needed was a little practice, a little time to sharpen his skills. Including the wedding day itself, he had three days to pull of his act.
He giggled while walking down the steps. Three days. Three years to learn it, three days to re-learn it. Might as well keep up that pattern, he thought.
Thinking, thinking… three acts tonight. No, not just three acts. Three acts on the same audience. Oh, wouldn’t that be fun? Hunched over, still pretending to be the skittish squire Wesley, he smiled so wide he thought his face would split in half and looked around the bottom of the steps. To his left, three gaudy ladies stared at him as though he were mad. Beautiful. He memorized their faces.
He turned and walked back up the stairs and made his way to the buffet tents. The room bustled with activity, servants running up and down the aisles. No one noticed a small, scrawny man pick up a greasy chicken leg, a small bowl of chili powder, a handful of walnuts, and a sack of flower.
Resisting the urge to skip and sing, he returned to the gardens. Walking around the edges, he found an area secluded enough that no one would notice a bit of food in the corner, yet open enough that no one would use it to fuck in. He took the chicken leg and squeezed it over his head, rubbing the grease into his shaggy brown hair. All night long, he’d had his hair down, drooping enough that it practically covered his eyes. Now he slicked it back and up a bit, into the sort of outlandish style only someone totally confident in their superiority would wear. He changed nothing else of his appearance, wiped the extra grease of his hands, and walked back out tall with his chest sticking out.
He found the three ladies quickly enough. They looked haughty, bored, and more than a little annoyed at each other and the party at large. Good. An upset crowd is harder to please, he thought.
He approached them with a cocky grin on his face. “Ladies!” They turned to look at him. “My dear ladies, why do you stand here melancholy? Were you not told that this is a party?”
He could tell by their eyes that none of them remembered him from earlier, but that didn’t improve their temperaments. “Some party,” one of them replied, “Every room and hall, even this weed field they call a garden, is filled with people, yet there isn’t one worth talking to.” The others voiced their agreements.
Aldrys made a shocked face. “Truly? There’s no one here to entertain three ladies so fair as you? This cannot be!” He paced back and forth before them. Well, they were looking at him like he was crazy again, but this time he actually wanted them to do so. “Ladies, I am but a simple squire to a great knight, I know that it is not my place to make this offer, but it saddens me that you three should be left to suffer in this state. Please, let me do my best to entertain you. At the very least, you may discuss how much you despise me after I have left you.” He gave them a pathetic, pleading smile.
The three exchanged glances, unsure. Then, the one who’d answered before sniffed. “Very well, boy, but we shan’t hesitate to call the guards if you pester us after we’re fed up with you.”
He bowed deeply. “My lady, I am a simple man, but I am a man of manners. Should that come to pass, I will impale myself on the nearest spear willingly. Now, close your eyes!”
The leader scoffed. “We shall do no such thing!”
“I did not mean all three of you, only you! Your friends will keep their eyes on me to be sure I do nothing untoward.”
The woman looked completely out of her element, but muttered and closed her eyes. “Very good. Now, if you two would kindly watch.” He gently ran his hands along the woman, tracing her contours, but never touching her. “Now, open your eyes!” She did. “You see? My intentions are entirely chaste. Now, if you would be so kind, try to guess which piece of your jewelry I took off of your body.”
The woman’s mouth dropped. She felt at her chest where her necklaces were, checked her rings and bangles. “Nothing! Nothing’s missing.”
“Check your ear, dear lady.” She did, and only then noticed her silver earring had gone missing. Stunned, she looked as Aldrys opened his palm and showed her the earring, then returned it. “Now your friends.” He performed the same feat on the other two, taking a ring off one’s chubby finger and removing the other’s only necklace. None of them felt his hands at work or saw him take the jewelry off the other, and by the time he finished the three were laughing at each other.
“Ah, now there is a wonderful sound indeed. I’m afraid I must leave you now, but hopefully you will be in good spirits until you find something else to entertain you. Remember, ladies, always be happy.” He left with some protests from the ladies, but politely excused himself. Retreating to the darker parts of the garden, he scanned the ground. Plenty of couples had taken their clothes off, and none were paying much attention to their possessions, but where to find… perfect. He picked a plain green dress, very modest, off the ground and held it up to himself. Just his size. He found a few scarves and handkerchiefs as well. He retreated to the place where he’d hidden the food and changed into the dress, using the handkerchiefs to fill out the figure and tied the scarf around his head. He buried his own clothes and the jewelry he’d stolen earlier in the night under a pile of dead plants no one had bothered to clean up. Finally, and this was the true test of his control, Aldrys licked his lips and spread the powder over it. It immediately burned, but he showed nothing of it on his face.
When Aldrys approached the ladies again, he was a slightly homely looking lady with the brightest red lipstick anyone could imagine. By now, the pain of the chili powder was incredible, but he’d learned long ago how to ignore that. It was all a show. Whatever he really felt, his external self had to be a performance. “Good evening, ladies,” he said in a soft, breathy voice. He’d never had any talent for a falsetto, unfortunately, but by softening his tone he sounded enough like a woman to be convincing.
The three were still giggling and checking themselves for stolen articles, but looked up at his arrival and smiled pleasantly enough, greeting him in kind. The first act had set them up perfectly. For half of an hour he spoke with them about the troubles of being a lady, having to make the terrible trip to King’s Landing, the horrid men they’d been involved with in the past. Aldrys would laugh with them, occasionally touching an arm or hand in a friendly manner. Each time, he would either steal a ring or bracelet, or he would return one. Perfectly. They never noticed, never realized. He must have picked and returned jewelry to and from each of them a dozen times, without even a flinch. Eventually, the three ladies told him they were going to watch the performers, asking if he wanted to join them. He declined, but as they walked off…
“My ladies!” They turned to see him bending over, pretending to pick something up. He’d still had one ring in his hand when they left. Walking to catch up with them, he said, “My ladies, I believe one of you may have dropped this.” He produced the ring. They checked their fingers, and the one he’d taken it from gasped and thanked him. “Not at all, it’s a lucky thing I looked down,” he said while slipping the ring back on her finger. The three walked off again, and Aldrys looked down at his hand, where he held two rings he’d just taken off the woman’s hand. He smiled and pocketed them. One more act.
He returned to his outdoor changing room, grinning as he heard a panicked woman’s voice saying something about her dress gone missing. He removed the dress, put his own clothes backed on, suddenly remembered his lips were on fire and licked and wiped away the chili powder, spread more grease over his face and hair, and pressed flour onto his face. He moved all the stolen jewelry from his sleeve pockets to his shirt pockets, and put a half-dozen walnuts into his sleeve pockets. Aldrys breathed deeply. He knew he looked ridiculous. He wondered if he looked ridiculous enough and could act well enough to fool three women who had seen him not an hour ago in the same clothing.
As it turned how, he did and he could. He performed feats of prestidigitation, moving the walnuts into different hands, putting them into the ladies hands, pulling his sleeves back and making the walnuts disappear only to reappear in the ladies’ laps or in their hands without them feeling it, once even slipping a walnut into one of the lady’s mouth without her friends noticing.
Satisfied, Aldrys politely excused himself, saying he was needed elsewhere, but leaving each a walnut as a gift. They didn’t notice the two bracelets and six rings he took off them doing so.
After wiping the flour off on a scarf he’d held on to, Aldrys walked out of the garden and towards the entrance with a smile on his face. It hadn’t turned out like he thought it would, but it had been a wonderful night after all. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.
Results:
Aldrys advances from Expert to Expert+ Acting
Aldrys advances from Noteworthy to Expert Sleight of Hand